Excerpt from A Single Throat Opens
So let me tell you about our house where I am a teen. I am fighting with my father. He does not stop talking when he drinks. He does not stop making joke after joke. He is still alive. He is still alive as I write this. He is still alive and all the time I wasted asking him to stop drinking, or calling him a drunk. All that time I regret with no end. In the future I will want nothing more than to hear his slurred voice tell me whatever bit of celebrity gossip he heard the night before. I will want nothing more than the night before. I will want nothing more than a drink with him. I will want nothing more than a drink, then another, then another. Then, I will want nothing.
Where is rock bottom? And how long can someone live there?
I’ve seen trees growing from rocks on hikes I use to manage my demons, to avoid rock bottom. Though I suppose the trees are actually growing from the soil and moss that accumulates on top of the rock. And sometimes the roots of a tree engulf a rock; it looks supernatural. I always give some of the water from my bottle to these trees, it seems like they are fighting so hard. They deserve it.
I’m going to resist my urge to research this growing from rock and believe in it as a miracle for a while. I want to believe that rock bottom exists and people can grow from it.